I’m not Trying to Arrive … I’m Trying to Abide!

By Peter DeWitt
Phil. 3:12 "Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me."
If you think you’ve arrived, you’re right. Pride comes before a fall and often “I’ve attained __________” is the starting point of pride. It usually requires thinking I “am already perfected.” This is a temptation of the enemy. “You’ve got this … you’ve arrived … look at you now!”
While God cheers us, He doesn’t tempt us to stop growing in Him.

The pride-arrival cycle sabotages pressing on. In fact, it makes “pressing on” feel like failure in a certain way. There is an independent nature to the orphan mindset.
In a vacuum of love the orphan mindset tends to attempt to perform its way to success instead of trusting its way to success.

Sonship operates from inheritance and connection. The orphan mindset operates from being self-made.


Because of that when many of us find success we say “ahaha, I’ve finally arrived … look at me!” This is actually an orphan mindset. It shows that the goal the whole time was to show what they could do on their own. Because of this, when a father or mother figure (or The Father) comes in and says “actually, that’s not quite it … there’s more … let me show you a more excellent way” it feels like “didn't you look at me?!?" Yet they are not experiencing the rejection they think they’re experiencing, but instead an invitation to the adoption they may not know that they want to experience.
The primary difference between “teachers” and “fathers” is that fathers correct. Hebrews 12 is clear. Fathers chasten us. Teachers are only “additive” - they confer new information. Fathers also correct. They edit. They say “more of this and less of that.” They prune. They admonish. They love. It takes love to correct.

When we (as sons and daughters) don’t know how to receive correction it often has to do with wanting to have arrived.  The trouble is we don’t even know we are operating in the wrong system. We don’t even know we are operating as an orphan.

The goal of parenting is not independence of the child, but instead a loving connection that transfers / confers maturity. This requires fathers and mothers who are willing and able to lay down their lives in order to transfer their life into those around them.


Jesus demonstrates the Father to us perfectly. He laid His life down in order to transfer His life to us. If we are to receive all that He has made available to us, we have to take on the sonship mindset that says “I’m not trying to arrive … I’m trying to abide!”

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